New Year So Far
M. O. ENE
New Jersey, USA
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Happy New Year!
At many watering holes where Nigerians ushered in 2010, one topic topped the talks: the botched bombing of Detroit-bound Delta airliner from Amsterdam. Allegedly, a Nigerian-born psycho of affluent parentage tried to take down the plane and kill, as the rounded number now goes, 300 people, including him. Thank God, no one died. Now that the radicalized rascal has been indicted, we should all wait and watch and wish that this alleged abominable abnormality never ever comes out of Niger area. I will revisit this matter and the fallouts this weekend in a piece tentatively titled: Beyond the Jihadist's Jockey.
I hope 2010 has been good to you so far. This season will rank as the first time texting trumped greeting cards. I knew many moons ago that cards will pass. Electronic or hardcopy, I stopped sending greeting cards way back in early Y2K. Here we are in 2010 and texting like teenagers. I sent a lot, and I got quite a bundle. Please permit me to share a few with you. First, this was forwarded from a friend’s inbox: “May God remove all the front teeth of your enemies in the New Year, so that by their smile you shall know them!” Ouch!
The
ones I got were not that cocky. Many were as normal as this from a dear sister
in New Jersey who is new to texting: “Happy New Year! Wishing you a happy,
healthy, and prosperous New Year! God bless you and your family.” You could
guess she was new to the trade; every word is spelt correctly, complete with
appropriate capitalization. Kudos, sis, and welcome to the world of handheld
devices. This is only the beginning. In another decade, no one will need
televisions, home phones, VCR, desktop computers, iPod, GPS, electronic cameras,
address books, alarm clock, calculator, flash drives, remote control, car keys,
voice or video recordings, etc. Everything will be in your handheld device. Of
course, with instant and quick access to the Internet, we will do a lot better
everything we now do with computers and cell phones.
TEXTING
Still on the explosion of text messages, some texts got my goat. With apologies to the senders, whose names I won’t reveal, I will share some here. The best of the lot and which I adopted is: “In 2010, live simply, love generously, care deeply, and speak kindly.” For effect, I added the Igbo language New Year greetings: “Ezigbo Afọ Ọfụụ.” Actually, “ọhụrụ” (new) is more SI (standard Igbo), but “ọfụụ” is more spoken.
From Nigeria, I got surprise texts from an old contact: “Ur prayers n good wishes 4 me n my family will 4eva revabrate @u n famly wit special blessing of health n prosparity in d new yr.” Knowing my penchant for Igbo language, he added in yet another text, “Amara Chineke ga-abụ oke gị na ezinaụlọ gị n’afọ ọhụrụ a. Chukwu nonyere unu dum.” [God’s Grace will be your share and that of your family in this New Year.] Another text in that genre but from DC area wished “God’s abundant grace and blessings.”
As expected of Nigerians, many texts were strong on religious themes, as this from a cousin follower of crusading Father Ejike Mbaka: “By His Mercy, we have seen the year 2010. May He sustain us by His Grace throughout the year and forever more. Happy New yr to u and ur family. God is faithful.” From a dear niece comes the following: “Let 2010 brng joy, luv, hapines, undrsrandin, and hrt desire 2 u & d rest of ur family. Prosperity is surly urs in lif. Hapy new year.” Another sister-in-friendship (a friend’s wife, that is) added, “Let us remember we r overcomers in Christ. If we encounter any adversaries let us use them as a ladder to Christ.”
Another cousin wrote with yet another Mbakaesque flavor: “This year u will move from glory 2 glory, strength to strength, anointing to anointing, power 2 power, grace 2 grace, u & ur family shal enjoy the joy without end.” This was followed by another niece: “Happy new year, dear. May d lord wipe our tears, calm our frightful hearts n giv us cos 2 dance 4 joy dis yr. Truly its d time 2 walk with Him.”
Moving along, we get to texts that took my breath away for a second, but they soon made sense: “DEATH, Mba! FAILURE, No way! SICKNESS, Tufiakwa! CALAMITY, Never! SORROW, Lailai! WEEEPING, Kojo! POVERTY, God 4bid! This is my prayer 4 u. Happy new year.” I chuckled. People are very creative indeed. We would never have recorded this creativity if we had stuck with cards that express the feelings of others. This one came from the DC area.
Another creative offering came from the same DC area: “Oji ji jide mma will alwys remember 2 giv u ur share, Ochiri Ozuo will supply al ur needs, Dike n’Agha will fight 4 u. Ikuku ama n’onya will deliver you 4rm d enemy.” The Igbo words are all familiar names for God: He who holds the knife and the yam, i.e. alpha and omega; He who gathers and feeds; i.e. the Godfather; the Hero in battles; and the Air that cannot be ensnared. There are other interesting names such as: “Onwanaetiriora” (the Moon that shines for all); “Anyanwu” (the Everlasting Eyes or Sun), etc. So, go coin a good one fro next year!
The Igbo have over 100 praise names for God and more are in the making. Interesting, mere mortals adopt some of these names as traditional titles and even proper names… including Chukwu (Almighty God), Chineke (God the Creator), Eke (Creator) and Ezeigwe (King of Heavens)! Then again, didn’t God make man in his image? It’s all cultural; after all, while you won’t see any Nigerian Christian called “Jesus,” it is quite a common Latino name. I use “Christians” because many northern Nigerians Muslims bear the name “Isa”—Arabic for “Jesus.”
Before you think the water of Washington, DC is full of vitamins for the brain, this one comes from a friend in London: “May ur days be blessed like Jacob, b xhorted like Joseph, faithful like Abram, patient like Job, dance like David, blessd like Jabez, like a fruitful vine…. May He make light shine upon u always. God bless & thank u 4 being a brother.”
Another good one from overseas and reflecting Christmas condition in Nigeria: “As vehicles queue up in filling station, so shll angels queue 2 refill ur lyf with God’s abundant blessing! May ur prayers neva enter voicemail; may they neva b deleted & may u neva runout of prayer credit. May ur life b filled with joy & laughter Best wishes for 2010!"
On cyber-theme, I got text from an unsigned texter: "As u log out of 2009 & browse thru 2010, may u double click goodness, mercy & favour, download success, good health & open folder of blessings. Happy new year."
I also got quotable quotes, the best being by Rabindranath Tagore: “Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it.” It came from across the Hudson in New York City. It made me think of my own original quote in “Nnenna” (a novel) about love: “Love is a passing psychosis, a phase of deep psychological distraction, or a momentary mental mess of varying duration.” Ironically, the book it appeared in is dedicated to “Ifunanya” meaning “love”! What was I think J
This ego-popup of texts came from a darling teenage niece, and it drove a cupid’s arrow through my heart and melted my soul: “Guess who u’re? a world changer, a history maker, an eternal excellency, a joy of many generat_s. Dats who u’re 2 me Thanks a lot 4 everything; u’re d best. God bless u.”
Need I say more! Everything else is embellishment.
EMBELLISHMENT
This is not a good time to be a Nigerian, but it has never been easy to be one. Even when Nigeria was swimming in petrodollars in late 1970s and early 1980s, when a naira was worth about two dollars (it now takes 150 naira), the “inyanga” (perceived arrogance) and passion of Nigerians rub other Africans the wrong way… even when Nigerians die in Africa’s many wars and host refugees at home. Let no one be ashamed to be Nigerian yet; this is but a passing phase. Nigeria is passing through more problems than the shame of a spoilt son who had everything to gain and simply threw all away for fantastic vile virgins in colored clouds. What girl in Nigeria wouldn’t have given this handsome but bloody brother the time of his life and dimmed the vista of virgins.
It is interesting that Americans now know to differentiate the 53 African countries; they now know Africa is a continent for real. Before now, from Dakar to Dar es Salaam and from Cape Town to Cairo, everyone is “African.” Not any more: Nigeria is now spread out to dry! A Nigerian-American senior citizen experienced the change firsthand. All these years, her neighbor knew she was African and never bothered to know the country. On December 26, 2009, she (neighbor) asked to know. The Nigerian lady responded with a quick wit that should be a model response: “Do you know where Burkina Faso is?” Of course, the answer was a definite swing-the-head no: Bucking what? And our lady goes: “Then what’s the point?” Silence! Go ahead; try it; be creative while at it. You may even use Kaura Namoda, a town in Nigeria, or Bakassi!
FINALLY
I bet you got interesting texts; if not, you are welcome to mine. May everything we are wished come true for us and those who wished us well. May those who did not wish us well also share of the blessings with all their front teeth intact because, as the Igbo say, destitution breeds contempt; and contempt can cause calamities. Note that destitution is not necessarily material hardship; it is also spiritual impoverishment that leads to all sorts of terrorist thoughts and actions that hurt the innocent and change the way we live our lives forever.
Have a happy 2010.