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KWENU: Our Culture, Our Future |
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11/11/11: Occupy Your Thoughts -(3)
CRIPPLING CORRUPTION
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Our
ancestors dreaded stealing. Long
before psychoanalysts classified kleptomania as an obsessive-compulsive
disorder, our ancestors established
that the uncontrollable,
unnecessary, and unwanted thieving trait can only be genetic. They labeled the
disease, a genetic disorder; hence the phrase “oshi
di n’obara.”
No one married from nor into the tribe of thieves. That way, society denied
known criminals the right of procreation, the power to
pollute the community.
Often, chronic criminals are sent on a journey of no-return. In fact, as recent
as post-independent Nigeria, “leave-township” applied to caught and convicted
criminals!
Corruption is now a very convenient Nigerian euphemism for STEALING!
It is like using “testicular inflammation” to describe elephantiasis
of the scrotum (“ibi”).
How could anyone stop stealing… cure corruption, a genetic disorder? How could
anyone cripple corruption in Nigeria? A friend said it will take “the hand of
God”: almost impossible. At the end of a panel that looked into the problem of
power in Nigeria, after witnessing the tactics of generator-diesel cabal, the
chairman of the committee concluded that it will take divine intervention to get
steady supply of electricity.
General Collin Powell said in 90s that corruption is dyed in Nigeria’s DNA.
There must be something stranger and stronger than DNA. Whatever that is, if it
exists, there must micro-parasites of corruption embedded in every human being,
but the level is highly elevated in many Nigerians.
These parasites probably don’t let go until the host dies! Unfortunately,
many with such traits somehow emerge as leaders. For this line of thinking, some
have suggested as a solution the elimination of TWO million people per state!
Trouble is, no one really knows how many people reside in any state at any given
time and how to screen for the trait in a hodgepodge of humans.
This thing called corruption is overpowering. With a straight face and without
blinking, a 27-year-old Lagos-based businesswoman told me the other day, “Uncle
MOE, everyone over 18 may have to die for corruption to die in Nigeria.”
As if this is not scary enough, the woman charged with cleaning the stable has
since ignored both 'executhieves' and 'legislooters'; she is now chasing rats
while the house burns. Yes, EFCC is more interested in getting even, in making
arrests and clamping people in demeaning detentions than in convincing anyone of
their wholesomeness. The agency cannot even keep its own books in order, as per
the Auditor-General and Attorney-General! EFCC boss Farida Waziri has all but
given up. Hear her: Nigerians are not ready to fight corruption; otherwise,
“they should give me a special court”! What about a special jail while we are at
it!
A bad workwoman always blames her tools. EFCC has lost focus, and its ICPC
counterpart is a nonstarter. The drug enforcement unit NDLEA is now a butt of
jokes! It had a man with drugs in his system, allegedly; two weeks later, no
drugs… and they are still holding him and foraging through his expensive
$#!@ -- apology to Fela.
Only in Nigeria! The regular law-enforcement police is a hopeless mess, a basket
case not worth talking about.
Yet, we cannot all give up. We have to start with ourselves and speak out even
when we can’t do much. As
Elie Wiesel enjoined us;
“There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must
never be a time when we fail to protest.” Corruption is so pervasive it treads
even where you won’t expect. To get as an interview date at US Consulate Lagos,
people pay $500--$1000 just to get an interview date from “agents” who block all
available dates for months in advance. What does it take to tell Madam Secretary
Hilary Clinton or even Brother Barack? Yes, they don’t get to read all
complaints, but imagine that many petitioned and yours was picked by the
President from his daily random reading of letters to him!
We have to hold ourselves accountable first for our inactions before we can find
ways to open our governments, governments that get involved in all sorts of
silly schemes designed to embezzle money. The only way to stop them is to have
an organized opposition at all levels
to beam searchlights on every government of the day from LGA to the Feds,
holding them responsible for every naira spent on unnecessary and fruitless
trips abroad. We have to start telling ourselves simple truths: Our bureaucracy
is bloated and the civil service is a big drain; funding education needs to be
reformed, and teaching civics must return to primary schools, for the churches
have mostly joined the oppressors.
There is no corrupt-free society. In NY recently, police officers were busted
for everything from fixing tickets to importing illegal weapons! It will take
everyone’s effort to stamp out corruption. The Zamfara AG just found out a
toddler was on the payroll of an LGA – working with an OND! I bet that
ghost-worker problem pervades all levels of governments and their departments;
however, how do you explain the multimillion-naira hotels and palaces of elected
officials? Of course, the stolen millions neatly stashed away in off-shore banks
are so easy to reach without leaving a Wi-Fied room with a computer. Trouble is,
nobody is looking.
One more reason to occupy your thoughts on 11/11/11 and make our so-called
leaders listen: Let us demand for an end to “security votes.” Regardless of what
is in the books, this practice is simply stealing of people’s property under the
cover of Constitution. Unaccountability is one pathetic path to crass
corruption; plugged, that will be one leg of corruption centipede crippled. The
centipede crawls on but, someday soon, the other legs will weaken under the
added stress.
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