Orji Uzor Kalu, P.H.D.
M.
O. Ene
NJ, USA
Sunday, July 15, 2001
"Orji Uzor ka anyi ga-eso; ma o
na-eje eje ma o na-ana ana, Orji Uzor ka anyi ga-eso." PDP? Power!
Power? To the People! Orji Uzor Kalu? Ebe anyi no! Orji Kalu? OK!
My friend, have you no modicum of shame? An
enlightened entity like you, a whole psychiatric M.D., should not indulge in
this crass, cheerleading cult of personality.
Bukuru Bekee… Bunkum! Can you say that in
English, Mr. Ph.D.?
Listen to yourself, Mad Doctor: roof over your head, family, and the works….
What are you doing with chorus boys? Must you lead everything?
Listen, Mr. "Permanent head
Damage," you got something to say, say it.
Are you the only man in Jericho who hasn't heard that the wall has fallen?
Which wall? Stop speaking in parables,
please.
The mighty "Action Governor" of "God's own state" is
finished. Done as dodo.
Ah ha! You faithless featherweights with
long degrees are at it again. So he has no earned doctorate. So Mother
Excellency said he is not gunning for the presidency. So he wanted "errand
boys" stoned. So some of you nutty Ngwa boys are at his heels. So this, so
that. So so blah blah…. So what?
Those are old stories…. Don't forget all those cars for Enyimba soccer stars
while people starved, salaries are unpaid, and he threatens to imprison tax
evaders while no one knew how much tax he paid on his nine-billon naira reserve.
Nzogbu nzogbu, ebe anyi no! Zogbue nwoke,
zogbue nwaanyi… Enyimba enyi!
Please stop making a mockery of yourself; it's really serious.
Okay, I am listening. What are the latest
lies?
For starters, he is running Abia State like his company SLOK. He is even
moving money to and from the company account!
Would you prefer paying Julius Berger 12
billion as the Big Aboki Abuja did?
The appearance of impropriety weighs more on using SLOK money to run the
state. How does he do this and get away with it?
Oyibo! Tell me more: So he is now an
outcast?
To New Biafrans, he is a marked man. To the elite, he is a joke. Only anti-MASSOB
mob like you still sing his praises.
Who hosted the Biafra Memorial while
Anambra's Governor Mbadinuju chickened out? Is he the one who asked the police
to shoot at MASSOB?
No, but he declared Biafra dead.
Is Biafra alive?
Yes, Biafra lives.
Yeah right! The guy has solid balls of
titanium; quote me.
Are they solid enough to make an ass of a mob out of MASSOB?
Your words! There cannot be two authorities
in Abia State. Period. You cannot spend another currency in Umuahia or Aba --
not dollar, not pounds sterling. Naira is the legal tender. You don't like it,
wait for 2003; run, win, and declare your Biafra of the mind or Biafra of the
Internet -- just like Yerima Sani declared Sharia for the flogging and
amputating of the poor of Zamfara. What do you call it again in dogon
turenchi: "Dividends of democracy"?
Ha ha bloody ha; it's not funny! For a guy who breezed into the Igbo Summit in
Enugu on Friday, January 19 this year and cursed out his elders as "errand
boys," whom is he running this errand for?
No one says you cannot associate with other
Nigerians or that you must muzzle MASSOB before being considered credible.
And that's why you are clamoring for World Igbo Congress Convention 2002 to be
held at Umuahia? So you can deliver the Congress to Umaru Dikko, IBB, Shagari…
"Of Course"! Would you prefer we
sell it cheaply to Rimi?
Rimi who is not far behind IBB, to whom he had ceded his presidential slot
come 2003. Now, seriously, is the chairmanship of the setup come this Labor Day
already bought and delivered to set the stage for a total take-over?
Ah ha, it's now a matter of C. A. S. H. --
cash!
I see you don't want to go there, but people are talking. People are
following the paper trail of money being funneled to fuel a takeover of the
Congress by all means. This is America, my man; you don't just get tens of
thousands of dollars from one consultation, unless you are Andrew Young and
registered as a lobbyist. Someone is headed to jail once the FBI gets into the
case.
Can you show conclusively that an alien
politician is influencing an American-based nonprofit NGO? Do you have any
records? Can you repeat this allegation outside here? Do you have the guts?
Calm down, Chairman Cheerleader, calm down. Holy Milingo! Are you that devoted?
This is just between us. Friends? Wow! Someone needs to write a book on how he
governs Abia State. He's a one-man army of Abachaesque dimensions, commingling
funds and partying. With acolytes like you, he is getting away with
abominations. He has cowed the legislature; he dictates to his commissioners; he
names everything, including the University teaching hospital, after himself!
Does he know the difference between the person and the people?
Blah! Blah!! Blah!!! You want him out, go
down to Abia State and run.
This is a serious case of megalomania. Buses are named after him. He is
lining up Bakassi Boys for 2003. He is simply intimidating his political
opponents.
And they include federal ministers Maduekwe
and Ogbulafor? What have they brought Abia, except the rent-a-mob event to drum
up support for a pathetic presidency that His Excellency Orji Uzor Kalu saw as
inept months back and called it?
An Obasanjo presidency he is now supporting. What a politician this OK is!
Keep reading cyberetrash. As I was saying,
Ebonyi and Enugu have one minister of state each; they have fared better. Do you
hear Governor Nnamani of Enugu complaining?
They are FEDERAL Ministers, not…. Talking of which, what have Abia State
commissioners brought to their localities? Patch a few roads?
My friend, His Excellency is not called
"Action Governor" for nothing. Security of life and property is the
best in the country. People are paid as and when due.
Pay? Teachers were not paid for months. He had to borrow money recently….
Hearsay. The official records show….
Keyword: OFFICIAL.
No, Mr. Ph.D., the keyword is RECORDS.
I will not glorify your insults. We from Abia State know better; you are not
from Abia State. Go to Anambra and worship Sir Emeka Offor. So let's talk
national politics. The way I see it, OK will eventually latch onto IBB for a VP
slot under NSA or wiggle his way back to Uncle Sege. Maybe both: the latter in
2003; the former in 2007.
Not bad for a young man. He will be better
than Senior Bush's Dan Quayle.
Then, we would know that reverend fathers wear pants, for the wind must have
revealed the derriere of the hen. Talking of Quayle, how far with the WASC
wahala? Is he named "Johnson," do we know?
Fishing again, are we? I thought you were
going national on your way to international. Listen: you must get used to
addressing your governor as His Excellency, Chief (Dr.) Orji Uzor Kalu,
Ojiofoigbo na Boston, Mmili nyiri enyi n'Enugwu Ukwu, Ikemba Igbere…..
Whatever! Note that Governor Engineer Kure of Niger State has called honorary
doctorates from America "419." Fake! Anyway, the Chief Doctor has lost
too much political steam lately with his Arewa-alliance attitude. In fact, some
now see him as an Arewa apologist.
And you think Afenifere-alliance attitude is
preferred and that an Oduduwa apologist is better. Look, you cannot win the
presidency with Igbo vote, 100% of which no Igbo candidate can command. You need
to reach out to others.
Across the Niger?
And across the Benue too!
Ezi okwu, he is too close to the Caliphate.
And Dr. Alex Ekwueme was too far?
No comparison here, please; he is a learned gentleman.
See where it got him.
You are joking, right?
According to you. Look, His Excellency,
Chief (Dr.) Orji Uzo Kalu is not a saint. He is new at the game, and he is
learning fast. You guys need to give him a break. Remember, "E gbuo dike
n'ogu uno, e ruo n'ogu agu e lote ya."
See who is talking in parables: Your man started killing Igbo warriors in home
skirmishes. I agree that we will surely feel the pang of guilt when we get to
the battlefield. You yourself have been in the forefront of fracturing
frontrunners in any power game… unless, of course, you were properly greased.
I am now a corrupt buyable bonehead?
I didn't say that, but if the cap fits….
And I thought we were talking about His
Excellency, Chief (Dr.)….
Please spare us the rest! You must agree that there is a tinge of misguided
megalomania here.
He is an Igboman, isn't he?
The Igbo do not stone people to death.
I bet you will tell me he is going to
introduce Shariah in Abia?
Looks like! What with Makarfi and Shagari and Jibril Aminu alliances! Is he
going to perform the Hajj and become al hajj?
"Alhaji Kalu?" HA HA HA! You guys
have short memories. You forgot who stood up for Ndiigbo during the Kaduna
Killings. You forgot who gave back backbone to Igbo youths of Aba to rise and
tell northern Muslim fanatics that the dagger has two edges. You forget that His
Excellency, Chief (Dr.) ….
Then he went to Sokoto to apologize, and then he went to Kaduna to buy a house
to encourage Ndiigbo to return to the slaughterhouse.
You read a lot of cybertrash. Like the crap
about his getting a new chick.
Yes, how about that?
See what I mean? He is now Aboki Abuja, who
is gathering all the daughters of who is who in Nigeria as assistants and
advisers. He is now Aboki Abuja, who allegedly has 24 kids from 12 women.
Allegedly…
And nothing about His Excellency Orji Uzor
Kalu is ever "allegedly"?
Allegedly!
You guys are for the birds.
What guys?
The P.H.D. brigade of America, churners of
cybertrash!
Oh, we are now the "permanent head damage" brigade? We are now the
madmen and women to whom you prescribe Prozac? Have you guys gone so low in your
quest to deflect constructive criticisms? You want to silence opposition by
branding people mental? So, the older politicians and the elite are now the
psychos?
That too, but here I mean the
crabs-in-a-bucket mentality: P.H.D. -- pull him down.
Oh, have you forgotten: We are ALL Igbo; the dagger cuts both ways.
I am out of here!
Me too! But Agaracha must come back! Until we get that code of conduct and play
by the rules, it will be a jungle out there. In a jungle, there is no paddy man.
Orji Uzor ka anyi ga-eso, ma o na-eje eje,
ma o na-ana ana….
Keep deceiving yourself: The going is good so far; I will be waiting
right here to hear the song on your way back. Then we will see who is a P.H.D.
brigadier.
©MOE, 2001
