KWENU: Our Culture, Our Future

What do women want? Thank you for asking.

Adaoma Carolyn

Michigan, USA

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Ms. Aretha Franklin, Queen of Soul, did try to answer the question in her hit song, "RESPECT.” "R-E-SP-E-C-T” find out what it means to me". The next part is very important, though, rarely quoted. "TC… TCB." This is short for "Take Care of Business!" You know, the business of being a leader, lover, husband, father, friend, provider, and teacher…. "taking care of business." Yes, women want that from men.

Mr. William (Smokey) Robinson sang a song that is now the anthem of female artists, such as Jennifer Love Hewitt. It is the sentiment of women. "I Want A Love I Can See". The lyrics go something like this:

I want a love I can see, that’s the only kind of love that means a thing to me.

Don’t want a love you have to tell me about.

That’s the kind of love that I can sure do without, sure do without.

I want a love I can feel, that’s the kind of love I know is real.

Don’t want you telling me ‘bout something that you heard,

I know that action speaks louder than words, louder than words...

Yes, women want that kind of love, too.

It is true that women and men are so different in our communications and approaches to life. At times, we seem as alien to each other as beings from distant planets. Women are humorously rumored to hail from planet Venus, yet, our traits are more lunar-like in their cycles, changes and alteration of appearances. Yet, from the dawn of humanity, men have needed both the moon and the woman to get him through the night.

I wonder has this likeness to the inconstant moon contributed to reservations men seem to have about women. My husband, male relatives and friends have told me that even if women know what they want, sometimes, they change their minds! We do change, and rearrange… our hairdo, our clothing, our furniture. Classic criticism. William Shakespeare wrote, "God hath given you one face and you make another". Hamlet, 3.1.

With modern technology we can literally put on a new face! Let’s not get extreme in our changes!

About Eve, who left us a legacy of dubious desires. She is credited with having a great deal of power and influence, is she not? She duped all humanity (locked in the loins of Adam) out of immortality!

You say, perhaps its best not to know what a woman wants? Before you answer that…

May we look at another scenario? Let’s say Adam refused her taste-test of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Eve faces banishment and judgement alone. The Creator could have then created another oriaku for him -- one more beautiful, more obedient and perhaps more compatible.

So, why didn’t Adam choose to refuse Eve? It was not cheaper to keep her. He lost everything! Maybe he’d had enough surgery for one day and didn’t want to risk loosing another rib:-)

Consider this. The woman was so much a part of the man. She was taken from his side, possibly, somewhere near to his heart. Denying her could have been like cutting off his right arm. After all, they were one.

Tidbit: The woman was taken from man’s side, not his head (to boss him or lead him) nor his foot (to be trampled upon or be beneath him). Hmm.

Yes, if there are Seven Wonders of the World, I think woman should be the eighth. We are puzzling creatures. I like the way Maya Angelou talks about us in her poem "Phenomenal Woman."

\

Men themselves have wondered
what they see in me.

They try so much
but they can't touch
my inner mystery.
When I try to show them
they say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The rise of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman,
Phenomenally!
Phenomenal woman,
that's me.

Thank you for engaging me. I can only speak for myself…and a few of my closest friends. I do hope other umunwaanyi will share their views on this subject. We women do indeed know what we want.

Women want men to ask, "What do women want"! Thank you for asking.

Marriage and Family are dearest to decent people. We don’t all need to run out and get Dr. Barbara DeAngelis’s book What Women Want Men to Know . Men and women can talk with each other, as one wise man’s has said. I think this is crucial to the survival of the sexes understanding one another. We can listen to each other. So, since you’re listening…

Women want...

Hot tea and long foot rubs.

U and your Undivided attention, when you have time. We want you in the daytime when the sun shines and in our darkest hour. We want you when you are too busy. Leave a voice mail or an e-mail to make our day.

Security, in any and every way you can make us feel secure.

Balance - not power. Strong women want strong men.

A getaway from home, the children and the chores and alone with you, once a month.

New rules about sex and money (#1 conflicts in marriage) or to re-negotiate the ones that don’t work

Daddies, that show sons how to be men and teach daughters to know a man when she sees one.

Spiritual leaders, praying men, high priests, peacekeepers and committed …Partners.

That’s all.